July/August Goals

Career

1. Make sure there is jobs in teaching before I spend a shitload of money becoming a teacher

2. See if I can be an English teacher one day. (Ask guidance counsellor about credits or something?)

3. Look into CELTA.

College

1. Find accommodation.

2. Look into grants

3. Talk to parents. Will I need a loan?

Finances

1. Learn how to budget

Personal

1. Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning/organising room

Fitness

1. Go for a run/do at least 15 minutes of exercise on days off. 

Food

1. Focus on not bingeing. Not a thing else. Don’t worry about calories, or carbs, or any other food-related thing. Just stop. fucking. bingeing.

Work

1. Don’t get caught up in the work-bitching/moaning.

2. Remember you’re not perfect. Stay positive. Don’t get stressed or overwhelmed because all you can do is take things as they come, and you’ll do better at that if you’re not panicking.

It’s difficult here

surrounded by people who are young, fit, interesting and good-looking.

And okay, I’m young. But the rest? Nah.

But I have to realise that it’s ME who’s holding myself back. I worry about them judging me but at the end of the day, it’s MY worry, not theirs, that’s stopping me from going cycling, or paintballing, or whatever else.

This past year has completely destroyed me, and I didn’t even notice it. I’m beginning to realise that although there are people who can live with being fat and not feel out of place all the damn time, and I completely respect that, I am just not one of those people.

I am fucking awesome, and I can do awesome things, and I exercise how I want when I want without regard for what other people think of me.

The person who said practice makes perfect doesn’t know what he’s talking about, perfect is an illusion created by people who always want to be disappointed in themselves.
- Zach Anner
Got my first proper runner’s high since week one

Anger-fuelled runs really are the best, aren’t they?

I feel so much better now :) I now understand why people say running de-stresses you.

I didn’t even have to push through the last five-minute run. I’m not even out of breath - just sweaty (what kind of magic is this?)

If every run was like that I’ll never stop running ‘til the day I die.

My dash is the most dead at this time of night, so here goes.

Weight: ~252lbs

I’m trying really hard not to put a disclaimer in here about how scary this is and how awful i look you know what? I’m about to do week 4 day 2 of couch to 5k tomorrow. This body has carried me through the programme so far, and I wanna be proud of it!

Here’s to a wonderful during/after shot in a couple months. Even if I don’t reach my UGW quickly, any wee step forward is progress!

It is 28°C (82°F) here…. in IRELAND. What.

…and I just completed the couch to 5k Week 3 Day 1.

My fucking eyelids are sweating. 

I was feeling like crap today

I accidentally took three rest days, so even though I really didn’t want to run today - I did c25k week 2 day 3.

It was definitely my worst run since starting couch to 5k:

it’s hot - which as an Irish person, I’m definitely not used to, and I didn’t stretch so my calves were tight and sore.

I was slow. But I finished it!

I feel so much better now, and I want to take note of that for the next day that I feel crap.

I’m nervous about week three, but hey, a new challenge awaits!

This is actually really true, and as someone who hates the attention, it actually discourages me from exercising when people commend me for doing it. 
I feel like them knowing I’m exercising means I should be losing weight, and I feel watched, and pressured.
I just wanna do my thang, goshdarnit.
c25k Week 2 Day 1 [DONE!]

shins are a bit sore so elevating them now.

Ecstatic that I jogged for 90 seconds (hey, i’m obese, it’s an achievement!)

Shin splints

…and about to go for a run.

Bad idea?

Notte Themes     ☾