It’s difficult here

surrounded by people who are young, fit, interesting and good-looking.

And okay, I’m young. But the rest? Nah.

But I have to realise that it’s ME who’s holding myself back. I worry about them judging me but at the end of the day, it’s MY worry, not theirs, that’s stopping me from going cycling, or paintballing, or whatever else.

This past year has completely destroyed me, and I didn’t even notice it. I’m beginning to realise that although there are people who can live with being fat and not feel out of place all the damn time, and I completely respect that, I am just not one of those people.

I am fucking awesome, and I can do awesome things, and I exercise how I want when I want without regard for what other people think of me.

The person who said practice makes perfect doesn’t know what he’s talking about, perfect is an illusion created by people who always want to be disappointed in themselves.
- Zach Anner
Got my first proper runner’s high since week one

Anger-fuelled runs really are the best, aren’t they?

I feel so much better now :) I now understand why people say running de-stresses you.

I didn’t even have to push through the last five-minute run. I’m not even out of breath - just sweaty (what kind of magic is this?)

If every run was like that I’ll never stop running ‘til the day I die.

My dash is the most dead at this time of night, so here goes.

Weight: ~252lbs

I’m trying really hard not to put a disclaimer in here about how scary this is and how awful i look you know what? I’m about to do week 4 day 2 of couch to 5k tomorrow. This body has carried me through the programme so far, and I wanna be proud of it!

Here’s to a wonderful during/after shot in a couple months. Even if I don’t reach my UGW quickly, any wee step forward is progress!

It is 28°C (82°F) here…. in IRELAND. What.

…and I just completed the couch to 5k Week 3 Day 1.

My fucking eyelids are sweating. 

I was feeling like crap today

I accidentally took three rest days, so even though I really didn’t want to run today - I did c25k week 2 day 3.

It was definitely my worst run since starting couch to 5k:

it’s hot - which as an Irish person, I’m definitely not used to, and I didn’t stretch so my calves were tight and sore.

I was slow. But I finished it!

I feel so much better now, and I want to take note of that for the next day that I feel crap.

I’m nervous about week three, but hey, a new challenge awaits!

This is actually really true, and as someone who hates the attention, it actually discourages me from exercising when people commend me for doing it. 
I feel like them knowing I’m exercising means I should be losing weight, and I feel watched, and pressured.
I just wanna do my thang, goshdarnit.
c25k Week 2 Day 1 [DONE!]

shins are a bit sore so elevating them now.

Ecstatic that I jogged for 90 seconds (hey, i’m obese, it’s an achievement!)

Shin splints

…and about to go for a run.

Bad idea?

Running while fat

I used to go on walks and think that I would never run while fat.

"What would strangers think of me?"

"What if someone I know sees me?"

Doing c25k though, you have to run when you’re told to run, so I ran. Well, jogged. Slowly.

But the whole time I just imagined that everyone passing me in their cars were thinking:

"My god, that girl is heavier than me and she is out running, so I could do it too!" or "fair play to her" or even just "hey, i wonder where she got her t-shirt?" because they didn’t even notice that I am fat.

And I didn’t feel one bit self-conscious.

Notte Themes     ☾