and that the more weight you lose the harder it is to lose more,
my SW was 256, my current weight is 246, and my GW (for the moment) is 196.
So I’ve lost 10 pounds, so to lose 40 more, I have to do what I’ve already done only 4 more times.
That’s it! How fucking awesome is that? It sounds totally do-able, right?
My legs are aching though. Not my feet. My legs.
They were fine before!
Gonna be nervous starting week 2. Gonna be tough.
that I got just now when my dad (very gently) told me that I could use a bit more exercise, so that I could open it and feel it again for the next time I want to say “fuck it” and have another cookie/pizza/piece of white toast with nutella.
My motivation comes in surges about four times a day, then food is put in front of me and I just put it in my mouth.
Fuck my lack of self-discipline. Fuck being fat. Fuck it all.
I have SO much I want to accomplish in the next couple of months, but losing weight is being added to that endless list.
I can’t live like this anymore.
This is the last straw.
This is the breaking point.
This is the beginning.
Feel free to scroll on by.
I’ve just been off track recently, so if I think my shameful binges will be seen by someone (even an anon on Tumblr) it might get me back on track.
Today. Today was shameful. I really am ashamed to write down what I ate, but hopefully it will give me the strength to make healthier choices tomorrow.
-2 ham n’ cheese toasties (sooo bad)
-Beef, potatoes and peas (small portion)
Then, the binge: *builds up courage*
-1 pita bread
-1 slice toast with nutella (lots of the stuff :( )
yjthrgfhjtrgefds so disappointed.
As Anne Shirley said, however: Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.
I haven’t done a proper workout for the past two days and I won’t be able to tomorrow either. Because I work as a waitress and I am bad at it, and I need all my energy to focus on the job, besides which, I’m working all day every day.
Still, even though my feet hurt and I’m covered in dried sweat from work I feel like I’m making excuses for not working out.
Food-wise, I’m keeping it varied and eating quite healthily EXCEPT that I’m back on white bread, because we’re not allowed the homemade brown bread for our lunch in work :( I can’t drink enough water either, I actually got given out to today for drinking water during my shift =/.
TL;DR: I hate my job because I suck at it and it stops me from working out and eating healthily but I need it to survive.
I can’t even bear to weigh myself as I’m sure I’ve put all the weight back on. I’m back at work, and I’m not a good waitress, and they’re pretty much threatening me with my job, and my parents have no money, and I have no money, and I’m stress-eating at every turn.
So, I’m back on Tumblr. I’mma trawl through my inspiring dashboard again, and I’mma fight my way through the stress and back onto the metaphorical wagon.
I can fall off the wagon, the important thing is to get back on. I’m not starting tomorrow, or the next day, but now.
Wish me luck.